Project Down Time

Todays Dilbert

Last Updated on Saturday, 11 September 2010 10:04 Written by Administrator Friday, 03 September 2010 18:12

 

The Software Project Manager and the Frog

Last Updated on Saturday, 11 September 2010 10:02 Written by Administrator Friday, 03 September 2010 18:37

A software project manager was out walking in the countryside one day when a frog called out to him - "If you kiss me I shall turn back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a week as your companion."

The software project manager smiled at the frog and put it into his pocket. The frog insisted, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for as long as you wish and do absolutely anything that you want.

The software project manager took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back.

Finally, the frog demanded, "What's the matter? You can turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for ever and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" to which the software project manager replied,

"Hey, I'm a software project manager,. I simply don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog ....... that's cool."

 

 

Project Graffitti

Last Updated on Saturday, 11 September 2010 10:03 Written by Administrator Friday, 03 September 2010 18:23

 

"Lots of Project Managers just spoil things" (by Senior Developer)

“Some projects finish on time in spite of project management best practices”

“Good project managers know when not to manage a project”

“If it happens once it’s ignorance, if it happens twice it’s neglect, if it happens three time it’s policy”

“Audit investigate the 5 ‘Ps’ of Project Management – People Perfectly Performing Perfect Processes”

“The single most important task of a project: setting realistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations based on inaccurate estimates are the single largest cause of software failure”

Read more: Project Graffitti

 

Mostly Business

Last Updated on Saturday, 11 September 2010 10:04 Written by Administrator Saturday, 07 July 2007 09:54

Safety cartoons for newsletters training presentations Business cartoons Computer Sales Quality Management Financial cartoons Intranet
 

A Clergyman, a Doctor and a Software Project Manager

Last Updated on Saturday, 11 September 2010 10:02 Written by Administrator Friday, 03 September 2010 18:34

A clergyman, a doctor and a software project manager were playing golf together one day and were waiting for a particularly slow group ahead.

The software project manager exclaimed, "What's with these people? We've been waiting over half and hour! It's a complete disgrace, we're getting behind schedule."

The doctor agreed, "They're hopeless, I've never seen such a rabble on a golf course."

The clergyman spotted the approaching golf pro and asked him what was going on, "What's happening with that group ahead of us? They're surely too slow and useless to be playing, aren't they?"

The golf pro replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The three golfers fell silent for a moment.

The clergyman said, "Oh dear, that's so sad. I shall say some special prayers for them tonight."

The doctor added, rather meekly, "That's a good thought. I'll get in touch with an ophthalmic surgeon friend of mine to see if there's anything that can be done for them."

After pondering the situation for a few seconds, the software project manager turned to the golf pro and asked, "Why can't they play at night?"

 

Software News

The latest news and headlines from Yahoo! News. Get breaking news stories and in-depth coverage with videos and photos.

Like it? Please Bookmark!

Facebook MySpace Twitter Digg Delicious Stumbleupon Google Bookmarks RSS Feed 

Rock and Roll Music

Joomla Templates

© Copyright 2010 SoftwareProjectManager.com.    All Rights Reserved